


Get Me Out of Here!

by tigercry



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga), ソードアート・オンライン - 川原礫 | Sword Art Online - Kawahara Reki
Genre: Argo breaks Kirito out, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Kirito's stuck in a holding cell, Klein got him in trouble, police station shenanagins, those two are a recipe for trouble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:41:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28777707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigercry/pseuds/tigercry
Summary: Celebrating Eugeo's return from a visit to his birth country was supposed to be enjoyable for Kirito. Ending up stuck with Klein in a holding cell and being left there till morning by Asuna wasn't the plan. There was no way he was staying here.Or in other words, Argo bails Kirito and Klein out of a police station.
Relationships: Argo (Sword Art Online)/Original Character(s), Eugeo/Alice Zuberg | Alice Synthesis Thirty, Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito/Yuuki Asuna | Asuna
Kudos: 8





	Get Me Out of Here!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in a discord for SAO fanfiction readers and authors and here's the result of a conversation about Klein and Kirito.

"Honestly Kirito-kun!" Asuna couldn't decide if she wanted to laugh her boyfriend looking so uncomfortable, pushed into a holding cell with Klein, or yell at him for ending up here in the first place.

"I didn't do anything I swear!" Kirito looked like he had seen a ghost. 

"If you didn't do anything then why am I here supposed to bail you out when I haven't had to do that with Argo and she sneaks around like the SAO days!"

"Cause Caylee does instead," Kirito mumbled and Asuna's eyes narrowed, oh he wasn’t getting away with that one. 

"What was that?"

"Nothing!" Kirito tried to play it off but Asuna was down to her last bits of patience. "I was just saying that it's Klein's fault!"

“Klein’s fault or not you know better than to follow him around especially this late! It’s three-am Kirito-kun and first night Eugeo’s back or not, this is ridiculous!” Asuna retorted with a sigh and glanced around for the blonde man, “where is Eugeo anyway?”

Kirito glanced at Klein, “where’s Eugeo?”

“I dunno man,” Klein seemed to have already given up on Asuna saving them from the holding cell and he had the right idea, unlike Kirito. 

And great, now the quiet foreign college student had vanished into thin air. Wouldn’t Alice just be pleased to find her boyfriend being gone. The police officer in training was going  _ to kill them. _

Asuna was going to have no part in it. 

"Well maybe if I leave you here till tomorrow you'll learn your lesson!"

“And that is?” Kirito asked cautiously and Asuna narrowed her eyes into the glare she used to use back in their SAO days to whip cadets into shape.

“Never leave Eugeo behind and get better at staying out of trouble! Trouble follows you like a magnet Kirito-kun!” With that the ex second in command of the KoB stormed off. She had a friend to find before her idiot of a boyfriend found something he finally couldn’t beat, a murderous Alice Zuberg. 

* * *

“Agil?”

“You’re lucky the cafe is rather empty Blackie.”

Kirito winced, “I’m sorry, especially if I woke anyone up.” 

“What’s going on so you’re calling at three am? Isn’t Asuna still taking morning classes?”

“Well yes, but-”

“Wait, does this have anything to do with Klein asking me about that hangout?”

“Er, no?”

Agil sighed and Kirito could practically hear the older man’s disappointment. “Where are you right now?”

“In the… holding cells at the police station?” Kirito cringed as he spoke, “you… able to come get us?”

“Where’s Asuna? Have you called her yet man? She’s going to kill you.”

“She was here,” Kirito admitted.

“Was?”

Kirito hung his head, he felt like he was back as a kid being reprimanded like a child. “She left Klein and I here for the night.”

"Come on Kirito, You know it's never a good idea to hang out with Klein at night. I have to agree with Asuna on this one."

"What? Come on Agil!" Kirito blanched and glanced over at Klein before he lowered his voice, "don't leave me stuck in here with Klein!"

“What the hell man?!”

Kirito ignored Klein’s complaints in the background.

“Well seeing how Asuna just sent me a text asking about Eugeo, I’m going to stay out of this. She’s scarier here IRL than she was with that rapier in SAO Blackie, sorry.”

“Agil wait-” The call ended and Kirito groaned. This was going great, Asuna had left to teach him a lesson and now Agil was agreeing with her.

* * *

“Kiri-boi? What’re you callin’ little old me for?”

“Thank god you picked up Argo,” Kirito breathed a heavy sigh of relief. He had gone through too many numbers by this point and Argo, the heart of all SAO survivor gossip, and now a investigative journalist, was his last shot. 

“Almost didn’t,” Kirito could hear Argo’s smirk through the phone, “A-chan sent out a text earlier to ignore ya.”

Kirito stared blankly at the wall across from him, of course Asuna had done that. Figures.

“Eh? Ki-boi you still there?”

Kirito shook his head and managed to focus properly on the conversation at hand, “yeah I am, I need a favor.”

“Hmm.. what kinda favor?” Argo asked seriously with her usual business aura.

“An under the table kind of favor,” Kirito replied and hoped the info-broker wouldn’t go tell her fiancé. 

“Ooh, what’s the ‘rouble maker Kiri-boi done now?” Argo asked mischeviously, “and it’ll cost ya, even for ya Kiri-boi.”

First things first, “er, where’s Caylee?”

“Outside ‘omewhere,” Argo replied easily, “only reason I can talk ta ya is cause she’s out lookin’ for Eugeo with A-chan ‘nd Liz. Why?”

Kirito breathed a sigh of relief, great, now he wasn’t going to be completely screwed by the hacker. “I need your help getting out of a mess Klein made.” 

“Mmm, maaybe, but ya pay double Kiri-boi.”

“What? Why? You’re usually out and about this late!”

“Ya, if Ki-Lii’s not home ‘nd she is. So thanks for dat interruption Kirito,” the information broker deadpanned and the lack of nickname sent shivers down his spine. Right, Caylee and Argo were more nocturnal than the rest of them between Caylee’s insomnia and Argo’s natural night owl tendencies. So right about now was when they were both the most active and awake, and... Caylee was back from whatever Caylee did. 

“S-Sorry,” Kirito sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Now what am I helpin’ ya out with?”

“You know how to pick locks right?”

“Uh huh, why Kiri-boi?”

Kirito glanced over at the sleeping guard closest to them, “I need you to bust me and Klein out of the holding cells at the police station.”

“Hundred bucks and take A-chan out ‘omewhere tomorrow.”

“Deal.”

* * *

“Look who needs ‘elp now Kiri-boi,” Argo’s smirk was smugger than usual or was he just seeing things? The journalist was standing in front of the cell door in a rumpled dark green hoodie with brown sleeves and casual capris while her golden hair was messier than usual and Kirito had a few ideas why. With the main one being one of the two women that would kick his ass if they knew what was going on right now.

“Not now Argo, get us out of here first, then tease us,” Kirito pleaded with her, “please.”

Argo didn’t look impressed, “I come all da way here to help yer sorry butt and ya treat me like that? Jeez Kiri-boi, way ta make a girl feel unwelcome.”

“I’m grateful you’re here Argo! Thank god someone came-”

Argo held a finger to her lips, “sssh!” and Kirito slapped a hand over the older man’s mouth. Before both the video game designer and the journalist stared cautiously at the sleeping guard.

Who didn’t stir at the loud voice, thankfully. Kirito would’ve killed Klein if he had gotten them all caught and that was if Argo didn’t get to him first. And Argo knew more IRL moves than Kirito did by a long shot.

Klein started fighting to get him off and after some brief wrestling, Kirito let him go.

“Be quiet!” He hissed to the brown haired man, “we’re trying to not get caught!” He looked over at Argo, “you bring the lock picks?”

Argo raised an eyebrow and pulled up her sleeve to reveal a simple but thin case made of sturdy black cloth, “borrowed Ki-Lii’s, mine are ‘arder to hide.” Great, more weird stuff from the brunette’s stash of odd things.

“What does Caylee do again?” Kirito asked as the blonde pulled out the appropriate lockpicks needed for the lock. 

“I already told ya, it’s three hundred to know, Kiri-boi,” Argo rolled her eyes and inserted the lock picks. “Can’t have it just gettin’ out like that.”

Now was the moment Kirito hoped Argo’s recreational lock picking back in high school after SAO still worked.

Argo paused and gave him a smug look, “these hands ain’t rusty if that’s what you were wonderin’ Kiri-boi. Where they’ve been on the ‘ther hand is secret,” she grinned with a mischievous wiggle of her fingers.

“Just crack the lock Argo, please?” 

Kirito was done, so done. First he had foolishly agreed to go with Klein and Eugeo, who didn’t know any better. Then Asuna had left him here, though he had deserved it, then he had called most of their friends and gotten no help. Before resorting to Argo, which was how he was where he was now.

Argo shrugged and had the lock cracked with a few seconds. “Yikes, might want ta update security if it’s faster openin’ that than a warehouse.”

“What the hell do you and Caylee do Argo?!” Kirito could help but burst out. Warehouse? Professional lock picks that belonged to Caylee? What the hell did the ex. Info-broker and ex. Hacker and GM do for a living?

Argo shrugged, “I just write articles ‘nd gather info, Ki-Lii’s still a secret, sorry.”

“I don’t believe a word you just said, but whatever.” Kirito hauled Klein up to his feet, “lets go, before we all get in trouble.”

Kirito was part-way across the room before he glanced back at the blonde walking casually beside him and the still buzzed Klein. “You pay the bail?”

“Nah.”

“What-?!”

Argo grinned like a cheshire-cat and held up a credit card that he knew didn’t belong to her. “The guard did,” she took a cloth and wiped the card down, seriously, where did she know about this stuff? Before she placed it on the guard’s desk and caught up with them in a couple more steps than Kirito had taken due to her shorter height. “What? I do more with Ki-Lii than be mushy like ya ‘nd A-chan,” she snorted at Kirito's surprise then froze. Kirito heard it too, the sound of car tires and opening doors.

Argo ducked, hiding behind one of the thin wall extensions and effectively leaving Kirito out in the open. 

“Help me!” Kirito mouth and jerked his head toward Klein.

Argo shook her head, “you’re on your own!” she mouthed back and still still as a statue while Kirito groaning and reluctantly faced whatever fate that waited for him.

“Door’s unlocked, damn you’re right Asuna.” Liz? What the hell was she doing here?

“I’d say I didn’t expect it to be but I do,” Asuna sighed and Kirito felt his blood run cold, he was so dead.”

“I’m not surprised either,” great, even Alice was here. “Unfortunately Kirito gets himself into more trouble than not even after these years.” The door was pushed open.

“You coming Caylee?”

Of course, the damn hacker was involved!

Kirito swore under his breath and could’ve sworn he saw Argo’s face go pale. They were both screwed. 

“No? Okay?”

“She knows what she’s doing Liz,” Asuna sighed and Kirito braced himself as he recognized the lazy beat up converse of his wife’s as they entered through the door. He was double dead. “Just leave her be.”

Kirito took a deep breath and reluctantly looked at the door, “er… hi Asuna…”

Asuna looked blankly at him for a few more moments with her arms crossed over her chest before she sighed, “please tell me you three at least paid the bail.”

Kirito hesitated when he felt Argo’s deathly glare, Argo would kill him for giving her up, but Asuna would if he didn’t…

Luckily for him he was saved by a voice speaking up from outside.

“Argo I know you’re in there,” Argo cringed at her fiancé’s rather flat voice, “don’t be glaring at Kirito when I know exactly where you are. Cameras are hackable these days remember?

Kirito heard Argo curse before within a flash the blonde was sprinting, slipping slightly on the tile, and cleanly avoided Liz and Alice’s hands. Only for Kirito to hear a loud thump and some wrestling outside.

“What the hell Argo? Ow! Don’t bite me you rat!”

“Then ‘et go of me!”

“Oh really now? Should you really be making demands right now? Ow! Fuck you Argo!”

“I do!”

“Kirito-kun…” Kirito was distracted by Asuna’s words. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Er… not kill me?”

“Argo! I swear to god if you bite me again-” Argo’s squeal was proof that the info broker didn’t listen to directions even now at twenty-five.

Asuna’s expression melted into exasperation and she sighed, “alright fine, come on, let’s get out of here.”

“What?!” Liz and Alice stared at the chestnut haired music teacher.

“Asuna this is-”

“I know, but they’ve paid the bail, nothing’s broken, and we’re the only ones who are aware that they broke out and weren’t bailed out.” Asuna pointed out and cracked a smile, “besides, this reminds me of our SAO days.”

Alice softened and sighed, “very well, Liz help Kirito with Klein-”

“Nope, we’re leaving Klein behind,” Liz grinned and exchanged glances with Asuna, “floor fifty-two?”

Asuna nodded, “floor fifty-two.”

Kirito grinned and hauled Klein back into the cell before slipping out of it before Alice locked it.

“Lets go, please remind Caylee to fake the cameras,” Alice sighed, “I’d rather not have more trouble tonight.”

Kirito nodded and walked past Alice, Liz had already gone outside, before he waited for Asuna, “you first Asuna.”

“Thank you,” Asuna grinned, rare mischief gleaming in her amber eyes as she stepped through the door.

Caylee had Argo in a headlock near the door, the poor ex. Hacker’s back was bent oddly as Argo pushed her back against the front of the car using the wall as leverage with the hacker’s feet off the ground.

Argo growled in frustration with how Caylee’s strength gave her the advantage. 

“I’ll get the cameras when I get this rat home,” Caylee grumbled to Asuna and tightened her headlock on Argo, “Argo so help me I will choke you out so fast if my feet don’t touch the ground in the next two seconds!”

“Never!” Argo grinned and winked at Kirito who rolled his eyes at the journalist’s actions.

“Get in Kirito!” The back door popped open and Eugeo grinned at his best friend, “just like the old days right?”

“Just like the old days, Kirito agreed and let Eugeo pull him into the car while Liz and Asuna got into the front.

“Fine,” Kirito saw Caylee nip the base of Argo’s ear from where he was inside the car and could barely contain his laughter when Caylee promptly slid off of the front of the car and out of view.

Geez, that was a quick switch of focus on Argo’s part. 

Caylee promptly yanked open the other back door before she shoved Argo in at them, who stumbled with a yelp, “lets get out of here before I lose my mind.”

Kirito and Asuna made eye contact through the rearview mirror, “yeah,” they agreed, “lets go.”

**_End_ **


End file.
